Jim
What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? Friends who have reasoned with him after a spree which has brought him to the point of divorce or bankruptcy are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon. Why does he? Of what is he thinking?
Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This man has a charming
wife and family. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. He had a
commendable World War record. He is a good salesman. Everybody likes him. He is
an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a nervous
disposition. He did no drinking until he was thirty-five. In a few years he
became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be committed. On leaving the
asylum he came into contact with us.
We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. He made
a beginning. His family was re-assembled, and he began to work as a salesman for
the business he had lost through drinking. All went well for a time, but he
failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself
drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. On each of these occasions we
worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. He agreed he was a real
alcoholic and in a serious condition. He knew he faced another trip to the
asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep
affection.
Yet he got drunk again. We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened. This is
his story: "I came to work on Tuesday morning. I remember I felt irritated that
I had to be a salesman for a concern I once owned. I had a few words with the
boss, but nothing serious. Then I decided to drive into the country and see one
of my prospects for a car. On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside
place where they have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I just thought I
would get a sandwich. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a
car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. I
had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. I sat down at a table
and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. Still no thought of drinking. I
ordered another sandwich and decided to have another glass of milk.
"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of
whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey
and poured it into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not being any too smart, but
felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full stomach. The experiment
went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. That
didn't seem to bother me so I tried another."
Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim. Here was the threat of
commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that intense
mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him. He had much
knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for not drinking were
easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey
if only he mixed it with milk!
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain
insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight,
be called anything else?
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